Memorys,Good and the bad

Well let me first start by saying I was a differint man in the 80`s. In 1984 I fell head over heels for this one gal. I was willing to give up everything for her.I was BI at the time and willing to give up men for her. We got married it was the happyiest time in my life. But like everything in my lfe it did not last. It lasted 2 months and we both agreed to break off. I was willing to give things up just not everything. She wanted what I could not give,she wanted me to share my problems with her and she could not take thagt when a problem popped up I go off to be alone. Well I went home but 2 months after all that I got a call. Keith hon brace yourself now sit down, Keith your going to be a daddy. Now at the time I could not speek. Non theless My son was born june 8 1985 I was so happy words could not say how much. I saw my son, His name is Jimmy 2 times a year for his birthday and the first week of dec. I have never felt such joy as Jimmy brought into my life or the joy of holding a newborn that you helped creat Till I lost that joy that happyness. Jim came up to see me on his birthday. On his birthday I made him a cake and he loved the smurfs so I made the cack with smurfs and I got him a big stuffed papa smurf. After we ate we headed to the park we both got in the sandbox and played war and threw sand on one another.That was June 8 1992 He went home I really did not want him to go but he had to. Then cam the saddiest part of my life Sept 2 1992 8:00pm I got a call giving me bad news I was told Jimmy died in school. How he died was his friend gave him a little white pill his friend said it help him with his headache. When I heard the bad news I hung up not saying anything and at that time I did not care about life or anything. I went to the store got 2 bottles of maddog and 3 six packs I got drunk. All thats behind me now Its time to get on in life. But there are times when I miss holding a son or little girl or the touch of a nice women. But a long time ago I decided to go gay and thats how it is.Cubby you mean alot to me but I dont think nothing could take the place of the joy I had with Jimmy or his mom since then I had a big open hole in me and no matter what I did nothing could take its place.